Weã¢â‚¬â„¢re Sorry
"Pitiful," I say to a man who, enraptured by a game of Processed Crush Saga on his phone, steps on my foot when he stands up to get off the train. Damn my cursed foot and all of its footfulness, it but had to be there at that moment.
"Pitiful," he says back, restoring protocologorical equilibrium.
The two sorries bump into one another, then each ane, respectively, says sorry to the other. The sorries' sorries practise the aforementioned, and so do the sorries' sorries' sorries, etc, etc. Meanwhile, zilch has really been said, and no one is offended. This, as anybody knows, is the British Fashion.
There'south even that give-and-take, that encompasses "deplorable", "thanks" and "excuse me", that nosotros employ while making our mode through crowded tube carriages. It sounds similar "sks" and, according to tradition, it has to be muttered at a frequency that can simply be heard by sea mammals. "Sks" basically translates as, "please forgive my wretched existence".
But back to "sorry". It'due south been anything but the hardest discussion this calendar week, with Lord Freud apologising for a repulsive annotate about disabled people, Bono apologising for forcibly contaminating everyone'due south iTunes library with the new U2 album, and Sainsbury's apologising for beingness homophobic.
Especially in the Lord Freud case, the question as to whether an apology is enough to become him off the hook has been asked over again and again. And no, it probably isn't. If a "sorry" was a person, it would be Chris Martin. If information technology were a food, it would exist a water biscuit. If it were a colour, it would be somewhere between taupe and beige. Begetting in mind nosotros apologise to people who tread on our anxiety, "sad" means very little.
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Students at Sussex Uni understood this when they, in spite of an apology from Sainsbury's, organised a gay kiss-in at a Brighton co-operative where a lesbian couple were asked to leave the store when a customer complained about their "disgusting" kiss. Because, if porn has taught me anything, the one thing guaranteed to make people'south stomachs churn is a lesbian kiss.
Perchance, if Sainsbury'southward had somehow been more than sorry, the kiss-in wouldn't accept been necessary. What we need is a new kind of "sorry", one that's totally separate from the sorry we say to people who bump into the states.
For too long, saying pitiful has been a go out of jail complimentary card for people who burp opinions that would make Katie Hopkins blush, and then realise they've fabricated themselves horribly unpopular.
Introducing, Sorry Plus™. You tin't just say you're Distressing Plus™, you have to declare it, similar bankruptcy. In order to be Lamentable Plus™, you take to rend your garments, until you're standing, completely naked, atop a pile of shredded cloth. The side by side stage involves filling a wine glass with your own tears, then drinking them. Only so can you consider yourself truly Deplorable Plus™.
Public declarations of Sorry Plus™ would be circulate, via the Deplorable Plus™ Goggle box channel, where we'd all be able to watch 24-hr coverage of politicians and CEOs existence very fucking sad. Millions would tune in to watch Lord Freud declare himself Sorry Plus™, or perhaps nor if, as I doubtable, he isn't all that sorry.
Somewhen, this new version of sorry would lose its impact when someone declares themself Sad Plus™ for being bumped into on the street. So we'd have to introduce Sorry Even Plusser™. But, until and so, I'one thousand going to sit back and wait for the NUS to declare themselves Sorry Plus™ for their ludicrous decision not to condemn Isis. Or not, maybe.
Source: https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2014/10/mere-apology-isn-t-good-enough-any-more-we-need-sorry-plus
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